Sticks and stones, but online: The wounds and worries caused by cyberbullying

Cyberbullying has not changed so much in form, but in function and force, it has become stronger in recent years.

Back in the olden days of the Internet, cyberbullying felt like one of the biggest problems of the online world. Anonymous usernames and faceless profiles meant it was easy to leave any kind of comment on blogs or posts and get away scot-free. The Internet was fairly new, and online interaction even more so.

Three decades later, cyberbullying persists, albeit with heightened intensity and sometimes irreversible consequences for those impacted.

The face of cyberbullying

Cyberbullying refers to any form of bullying that utilizes an Internet connection or service provider and an online platform. Any action using technology that aims to inflict harm, cause pain, and demean another person through an online platform—be it games, discussion boards, social media, or messaging apps—can be considered bullying.

In the traditional sense of bullying, there is such a thing as covert bullying. Researchers have defined this as “non-physical, subtle, disguised, or hidden, which nevertheless causes emotional distress and damages self-esteem, relationships, and social status.” The reality is that bullying may not even feel like it is happening, except for the slow ruin that occurs inside an individual’s well-being.

In cyberbullying, the effects on the vulnerable party can be even more covert and visible only to close family members and friends, if at all. That is because the bullying ground is as expansive as the social media platforms they exist in. Even if the bullying is loud and raucous, it is not always enough to serve as proof to build one’s case.

For the most part, some may deactivate their social media accounts to distance themselves from the bullying experience. Unfortunately, for others, the impact may already be too great to take action.

This concern has recently shaken the Philippines. Following the recent passing of Emman Atienza, a bill has been filed in the senate with the goal of lessening online hate speech and cyberstalking and protecting the vulnerable population against such actions.

The difficult lived experiences of cyberbullying

The sad fact is this definition still has not changed but remains rampant in many countries worldwide. In the journal article research by Maria Zamuco and Elizabeth Villa, the authors noted, “Despite existing laws and growing awareness, cyberbullying remains a serious issue, especially in higher education, where its effects are not yet fully understood.”

When looking at the lived experiences of the vulnerable parties, the researchers have found common themes on the emotional and psychological impact of the incident. For one, emotional distress is very common, with difficult emotional experiences ranging from humiliation and self-doubt to fear and anger.

Isolation is also commonly experienced, with some feeling the need to stay away from peers due to feelings of resentment, fear of being ridiculed, or worries of being triggered by their social space. 

What help looks like: Holding space and holding off judgment

During this time of hyperconnection, empathy remains truly necessary. There is a call towards prosocial behavior, with the goal being to be able to practice empathy towards others and to have the desire to help relieve the suffering of the other, when possible.

Sensitivity and awareness to the issue can be a big factor in helping others, even in one’s small way. The Internet is a vast space, but even in its vastness, not everyone can gain access to the complete picture of what a person is going through. This is why the language that we use when talking to others matters greatly—changing a single word to a better, more compassionate option can communicate the difference that is missing in a colder and less personal space like the Internet.

Pausing in your thoughts before speaking (or typing) your words can give that space for compassion to come in. It may be a good time to be mindful and ask ourselves, “What am I trying to achieve with those words? What purpose do those words serve for the person I am addressing?

 

 

Despite existing laws and growing awareness, cyberbullying remains a serious issue, especially in higher education, where its effects are not yet fully understood.

 

 

 

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