My mom never taught me to fear ghosts, so I never did

Leave me alone in a pitch-dark room in a house I don’t know, and I will not feel afraid.

A lot of kids my age were afraid of the dark. They rushed home when the sun set at 5 PM. I never did. I was always the last one to leave, picking up after their messes before entering the gate of our home, where a single street lamp lit the entire compound.

Whenever adults wanted their kids to follow them home or be more behaved, I often heard them say in Pangasinan, “Walay anyani ditan!” (There’s a ghost there!) The kids would cry, cling for dear life and beg to be carried home. My parents never used fear of the unknown to discipline me. Their religious beliefs played a huge role. They did not believe in paranormal beings.

So I slept alone in my room. I never feared whatever entity might be lurking under my bed, the way my playmates said they did. I was left alone at home for days while my parents traveled to distant places for work.

Only once did my playmates’ fear of the dark get to me. That day, one of them told me a story that sounded so genuine, it stayed with me and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Being the last one left in the living room, I switched off the light and quickly ran up the stairs. My mom came to my room and asked why I ran, and whether it was because I was afraid of the dark.

She gave me a light scolding for letting fear of something I couldn’t confirm take over my thoughts. At that moment, I was more scared of her scolding than of ghosts being real. She said the mind can create fear that doesn’t exist, and it haunts you if you let it. It never happened again after that. My mom made sure of it. She constantly reminded me to take control of my fears.

I was in Grade 5 when my grandfather passed away in a room in our house. Everyone told me his soul lingered there. People said they had seen him. It never scared me.

As an adult, I listen to horror podcasts and watch thriller-horror movies with jump scares and still feel fine afterward. Someone can tell me they feel a ghost in the room, and I’ll stay unbothered and go to the bathroom alone.

The next time we use ghosts to scare or discipline kids, think twice. Discipline should come with love, not trauma they will live with for the rest of their lives.

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