Sibling things: When you share and spar in everything—even sports

When you and your sibling both aim for the gold, what gives and what’s the gain?

When siblings fight, it’s easy to picture rowdy kids and even teenagers who are vying for certain things at home or from their parents. But what happens when siblings compete against each other on the court or in a bout? What do sibling dynamics look like?

In reality, siblings often play the same sport, whether in the Philippines or in other countries, as professionals or as part of summer camps. The dynamics during a round or a play may reflect the interactions that occur in their personal family relationships.

Siblings in the same sport

In the history of the Olympics, SEA Games, and other sports events, seeing siblings play and sometimes dominate a field has been fun and intense to watch. Perhaps among the most renowned are Serena and Venus Williams, the Olympian tennis players who have won gold medals and played with and against each other in many matches. 

The Philippines has its siblings who compete in the same sport. In the early 90s, brothers Roel and Onyok Velasco secured a bronze and a silver, respectively. Currently, gymnastics has already seen Carlos Yulo secure a gold medal in 2024. Everyone is hopeful that his younger brother, Karl Yulo, will join him in 2028 in Los Angeles in the same sport.

Older siblings as role models

How many times have panganays heard this before? ”You are the role model of your siblings.” The eldest child in a family often carries more than just being a child in the family. They can also become the first model for their siblings at an early age.

Research has shown that older siblings can influence the kind of decisions, including sports, that their younger siblings tend to get into. As per a journal article in Frontiers in Sports and Active Living, “While firstborn children tend to be parent-focused in learning about the appropriateness of behaviors, those who follow tend to acquire more from their older siblings.”

The influence extends beyond just sports. When it comes to birth order and age differences, research has shown that habits introduced by older siblings tend to be rejected by younger siblings to set themselves apart, especially if their ages are close to each other. Such behavior seems to be the easy way to differentiate themselves and avoid becoming “too similar” to each other.

This trait extends to sports, sometimes manifesting in a tendency to minimize competition among siblings. The younger ones tend to seek a different sport compared to their older siblings.

Companions and competitors

What makes siblings beneficial companions in areas of growth? Laurie Kramer says in her research, “Growing up in the same household can facilitate the formation of bonds and a sense of solidarity that is difficult to achieve in other relationships.” In other words, the bond that transpires and builds between siblings can be strong, especially when there is positive engagement and support.

On the court, competition is inevitable, but the development of siblings as individuals within their own families can also impact their relationship. The long-standing rivalry between the Williams sisters may be a positive testament to this.

In an interview, Serena admitted the difficulty that came with playing against her sister, because it was like playing against her best friend. Occasionally, when priorities shift or when life simply happens, the perspective of the game—and of the companion and competitor sibling in the game—can also change.

The downside? Achievement can be a double-edged sword

In sports, achieving success is accompanied by the pride of mastery and victories. With siblings who share the space in sports, pride and fondness can extend beyond the familial and into the professional. However, findings also showed that some experiences may not be all that positive. 

As per a study in Sports Psychologist: “These [feelings of envy] lead some participants to compete with their older sibling at the cost of making the relationship more conflictual than harmonious.”

The research also shows that favoritism within the family, especially when involving the talents linked to sports, can leave an aftertaste that can affect the siblings’ interaction. In some cases, changes in the dynamics, such as the older siblings leaving home, can affect the quality of the relationship. 

The good news is that, when siblings already have a strong foundational relationship, the emotional bonds can survive, no matter the distance. This foundational relationship also serves as the support that can make a sibling’s win a gain for the other.

 

 

These [feelings of envy] lead some participants to compete with their older sibling at the cost of making the relationship more conflictual than harmonious.

 

 

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