Define the relationship: A Gen-Z glossary to love and dating

Relationships are complicated, especially with these terms and labels that Gen-Zs casually use.

When it comes to the discussion of relationships and romance, Gen Z has never been more open and expressive, especially with the digitalization of dating. The rise of dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and Grindr, and especially social media sites like Tiktok, Facebook, and X (formerly Twitter), has given birth to new terms and labels in dating that most people from the X and Millennial generations—and even other zoomers—can’t keep up with it. 

Fortunately, we’ve come up with a list of Gen Z terms related to dating and relationships, so you won’t get lost in translation when you encounter them.

While the list does not cover everything, it’s enough to provide you with context in everyday discussions with a zoomer.

Backburner

A backburner is a person you remain connected with and keep in reserve as a romantic or sexual partner. Backburners are mostly “second options” and can be pursued when the main relationship fails.

Bae 

Either an acronym for “before anyone else” or short for “baby,” “bae” is a term commonly used as a nickname for couples, similar to “honey,” “sweetheart,” or “darling.” It’s also used to refer to attractive people.

Beige flag

A beige flag involves unusual or odd characteristics of a person that are neither seen as a green nor a red flag. This can include using alarms in daily activities, walking long distances instead of commuting, and typing in lowercase text for all messages. The list goes on.

Breadcrumbing

This involves a person giving you just enough “crumbs” of attention and love to keep you hooked while rejecting any form of serious relationship.

Catfishing

More often observed in the digital world of dating, catfishing is the act of luring someone into a relationship through a fake identity or profile, commonly used for financial or sexual extortion.

Cushioning

This means flirting with other people or keeping them as a backup while being in a committed relationship. When the relationship ends, the person would have a list of options, “cushioning” the impact.

Delusionship/Delulu

An imaginary romantic relationship with a person that goes far beyond just a typical crush. Delusionships range from people you like to celebrities and even fictional characters, as you invest your time and emotion in a relationship that does not exist at all.

DINK (Dual income, no kids)

A lifestyle approach and routine that some couples today follow, aiming for shared income without children. Economic and social factors such as inflation, limited accessibility in healthcare, and independence have shaped Gen Z to consider this mindset.

DTR (Define the relationship)

A stage in dating where you discuss and clarify your relationship status with your partner. This usually happens between two people with unclear labels.

DTF (Down to f***)

A sexually suggestive bit of slang to convey sexual willingness and readiness to a person.

FuBu (F*** buddy)

No, it’s not related to the clothing line. “FuBu” is a slang term similar to “friends with benefits,” which refers to a sexual relationship between friends, avoiding any commitment or emotional attachments.

Ghosting

Ghosting happens when a person you are dating or in a relationship with suddenly cuts you off without any explanation.

Hard launch

As opposed to soft launching, hard launching lets you publicize your relationship status with a romantic partner. This ranges from flexing your partner to everyone on social media to meeting each other’s families.

Hard pass

A phrase that refers to direct and instant rejection.

Pocketing

This involves your partner hiding your relationship from everyone. This results in a lack of trust and commitment to the relationship.

Rizz

Based on the word “charisma,” the term refers to a person’s appeal and ability to charm, attract, or effortlessly flirt with someone. Phrases such as “rizz points” are casually thrown around, indicating your level of charisma.

Shrekking

The term is based on the DreamWorks animated franchise Shrek. It refers to lowering your physical standards and prioritizing someone’s character or personality more, believing that physical attraction will grow over time.

Silent quitting

In relationships, silent quitting involves one partner slowly and emotionally withdrawing from the relationship without formally breaking up or communicating their issues. Typically, they are just waiting for the right moment to end the relationship.

Simp

A person who goes out of their way to impress someone, to the point of losing their dignity and self-respect.

Situationship

Generally linked to the phrase “More than friends, less than lovers,” this involves a romantic, emotional, and sexual relationship without any formal label or commitment. A situationship puts you and your partner in a complicated gray area where it is difficult to define the relationship.

Slow burn

“Slow burn” refers to a relationship blossoming naturally and over time. Unlike the usual tropes in romantic stories like “Love at first sight,” a slow-burn romance deepens each other’s connection and bond by spending more time and letting love grow at a steady pace

Soft launch

Soft launching is subtly hinting at your relationship status either to a few close people or via social media with little to no reference to your partner. This is done for many reasons, but mostly it’s either to test if the relationship can pull through or for private matters. Soft launching involves photos of your partner’s hands and back and hardly mentioning your partner’s name in posts, usually just tagging their initials.

Talking stage

Often labeled as the “getting to know each other stage,” this is a phase in the relationship where two people communicate consistently to see if they are a perfect fit to be an official couple. Commitment is not yet established at this stage.

Thirst Trap

Thirst traps include sexually suggestive social media posts and photos to reel in attention and compliments.

Zombie-ing

After being ghosted, zombie-ing occurs when the person suddenly reappears and resumes communication with you as if nothing happened.

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