IRL dating makes a comeback for Filipino Gen-Zs

Swiping aside, Gen Z is proving that the best connections happen IRL.

Online dating apps were created to simplify love in the digital age—to connect us to a broader group of people faster. Swiping became second nature, curated profiles replaced first impressions, and emojis did the flirting for us. But lately, it seems we’ve hit what experts (and exhausted singles) call swipe fatigue.

Online dating stories now revolve around catfishing, love bombing, and the all-too-familiar ghosting, leaving users feeling disposable. Beyond that, there’s a growing anxiety that comes with knowing the person you’re talking to might also be talking to several others—a kind of unspoken, endless competition that makes genuine connection feel uncertain.

Finding a match now feels like window shopping. The thrill of getting to know someone naturally has been replaced by scrolling through endless profiles that start to look the same. And as more Gen Zs grow weary of algorithmic love, they’re turning to something refreshingly real: meeting people face-to-face.

Back to offline dating 

Disclaimer: Some names have been changed to protect the person’s identity

A 2020 study by the University of the Philippines found that about one in four respondents experienced moderate to severe anxiety during the pandemic, largely due to COVID-19 fears and prolonged isolation. With months spent indoors, people turned to screens for almost everything—work, friendships, even love. But after so much virtual connection, meeting someone in person began to feel both nostalgic and necessary.

J, 23, shared that she still prefers dating face-to-face. “Kasi mas nakikita mo ‘yung nakakausap mo, mas mapranka mo if they really mean what they are saying. Kumbaga, mas intentional,” she said. For her, chatting online blurs sincerity and fuels insecurity, especially when people present only their best versions.

Sophia, 19, echoed this. While she uses Bumble, she admitted that chatting alone often weakens real connection. “Simple interruptions like schoolwork or weather are enough to lose a match,” she said, adding that seeing their body language says more than any message ever could.

The mindset around dating is shifting: people now prefer to meet in person first before continuing the conversation online. This return to face-to-face connection has inspired a new wave of initiatives from event organizers who create spaces where strangers can meet, talk, and connect outside the screen.

IRL connection through The Sunny Club

Both J and Sophia have attended events hosted by The Sunny Club, a Manila-based, Gen Z-led community for sapphic individuals. It started as a virtual Discord watch party in late 2023 and since then has grown into a full-fledged event organizer, hosting themed parties, café hangouts, and safe-space gatherings for queer Filipinas.

Sophia discovered Sunny Club on Instagram during her freshman year and joined its “Bottoms” (2023) rewatch party celebrating the group’s first anniversary. She was drawn to the accessibility and safety of the event, especially as a daytime gathering. For her, the group’s event provides a sense of assurance that everyone there does like women. On apps, she said that some people are only looking to “experiment or find a third.”

Meanwhile, J discovered Sunny Club while seeking emotional support after a breakup in 2023. She first attended an in-person movie screening in Quezon City in December that same year, followed by a nightclubevent two months later. While her reason for joining wasn’t romantic, she noted that what sets this event apart is the certainty that people aren’t there just to hook up.

J also added that what makes Sunny Club special is its women-led and exclusive setup, which allows attendees to feel both seen and safe. She explained that being in a space free from men changes the experience entirely—it’s easier to relax, dance, and enjoy the night without fear of being harassed or approached, something that’s often unavoidable in mixed and public bars or clubs.

More than romance 

Unlike dating apps that focus on matching first, these events center on community and shared experience before giving people the space to mingle. Beyond romance, these gatherings become avenues for self-discovery, friendship, and connection. Much like dating apps, they allow people to broaden their networks and meet new faces, but this time it happens in person through genuine conversations. 

For Sophia, joining Sunny Club helped her unlearn narrow ideas about identity and dating. “Back then, it was easy to think ‘this is what a lesbian is’ or ‘This is how dating women should be,’” she said, recalling how limited her perspective was when she rarely met people who identified as sapphic. Talking to others who shared similar experiences helped her “humanize that part of myself a bit more,” she highlighted. She described her experience with attending these events as “touching grass.”

J shared a similar experience of growth. She said she overcame her fear of attending events alone because Sunny Club made her feel genuinely safe and welcomed. “Kung hindi naging safe space si Sunny nung unang punta ko, hindi ako babalik,” she said. What surprised her most was the freedom to express herself openly, even playfully. “Dito ko rin naranasan ‘yung maging flirtatious,” she added, explaining that with women, even flirtation feels lighter and less threatening.

Even as the first generation of true digital natives, Gen Z is showing that some practices never go out of style. Just as generations before us met, talked, and laughed in person to spark connection, today’s young adults are bringing that same approach into the modern age. 

READ: